At long last the conundrum of running errands with your newly potty trained toddler has been solved. No more searching for clean bathrooms or "holding it." No more sacrificing the progress you've made by wearing a diaper just for the store. With the spare water bottle from your cabinet, um "My Pee Pee Bottle", you simply stand your kid on that table in J.Crew and let 'er rip. No privacy needed.
Maybe you have heard that 800,000 doses of Swine Flu vaccine have been recalled for what is being termed a "loss of strength." The doses in question are somehow 12% below the government standard of effectiveness. This is a new concept to me. Could they make a vaccine that is 12% above that standard? Would that vaccine be more likely to give your child actual Swine Flu? Is the goal for companies like Sanofi Pasteur - who made the vaccines in question - to try and thread the needle and nail the effectiveness right at 100%. This all seems a little suspect.
When I called our pediatrician today to find out if the doses that Annie and Tilda received last week were on the recall list, the answer was "They haven't let us know yet." Hmmm. Hardly encouraging. When I asked the nurse when they thought they might "know," she said she wasn't sure. Great.
The question is, if my kids doses are 12% less effective than expected, should they get another two doses instead of the typical one? Nobody seems to have a definitive answer on that one. It sounds like a judgement call. Good luck parents!
Okay, so I know what the medical establishment will tell me about the above question, but I have some concerns. Both of my kids received the first round of H1N1 vaccines on Wednesday and both of my kids woke up with identically colored, jelly-like, escape-the-diaper diarrhea this morning. I know this is one of the questions they ask when they are diagnosing a case of swine flu so, you know, I'm just asking.
They have no other symptoms to speak of, but I am officially skeptical. Go ahead, tell me I'm crazy.
While we were there, I decided to get them their swine flu vaccines and seasonal flu booster shots. Normally this would be something I scheduled for a time my wife could be there to lend a hand, but when the doctor made the offer of not having to go to the practice's clinic, I lost my head and went for it. What can I say, I'm a risk taker.
We started with Annie, who saw the syringes and declared that she didn't want any "pinches." But our nurse, Faith, calmed her down with promises of stickers. Annie took a shot in each arm, head held high, cried for a few seconds, and them immediately got down from her chair wondering where the promised stickers were. She was a champ.
The light didn't dawn in Tilda's eyes until she felt the alcohol swabs on her chubby little shoulders. And, now that she has discovered that insidious idea of free will, she was prepared to exercise it. Faith had to wipe her arms down more than once because Tilda kept wriggling loose. Subconsciously I must have been trying to let her escape. When I finally got it through my head that I was the problem, I held her tightly and allowed the inevitable to happen. Then the water works started. Tilda has been very emotional lately. Yet even that little emotional sixteen month-old was soothed by goldfish (the multicolored ones of course) and a smiley face sticker.
I have to give most of the credit for how easily the whole appointment went down to Faith, who now has a friend for life in Annie, even though Annie pronounces her name "Fake." We couldn't leave the office without Annie getting in a few hugs and goodbyes. I'll never let another person give my kids their shots. Thank you, Faith.
Matilda's 15 month checkup was this morning. Good news!—she’s average. She landed firmly in the 50th percentile for everything. Height, weight, head, and all those fun developmental indices are what you would expect out a second child, a child whose parents forget that they used to monitor those things like the weather. She did come up in the 90th percentile on the Alfred Hitchcock jowl density and buttony chin index. So there's that.
On a related note, we have decided to get her and her sister the seasonal and swine flu vaccines. They were, obviously, out of the swine, but good ol' seasonal was freshly stocked. Now that the decision is made I feel kind of funny about it. As I type this, Matilda is upstairs napping with influenza, no matter the amount, swimming around in her system.
Rest easy friends of Unfinished Dad. I no longer need to worry about vaccinating Annie and Tilda. Though swine flu is still a serious threat, a government created one no less, Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame says this whole national emergency thing is just fear mongering to sell more pharmaceuticals. You know what, I kind of agree with him. Well, about the fear mongering part anyway.
"Our American President Obama has declared a national emergency about this virus, which he in his own words said was, at this point, a preventative measure. So, why declare an emergency if there isn’t one? ... I am more focused on the vibration that has us all so fearful: both for how the fear affects our thinking, and how, in our fear, we attract the worst, and, in conjunction with that, how those fears are used by others without integrity to try to create a power against Us to promote discomfort and dis-ease."
I feel better. You?
Swine flu officially has my family surrounded. I hadn't given it much though until recent weeks, when it dawned on me that Annie probably isn't the only 2 year-old who fails to cover her mouth when she coughs. We aren't big lovers of vaccines. We get them - we're not Jenny McCarthy or anything - but we don't run out and beg for them. Now I find myself wondering if we should take the plunge.
The first confirmed case in our world was in a 3 year-old class at Annie's school. For the most part parents are good about keeping their kids home when sick, but the week before, we were sent an email about children showing up just "a little sick." The email arrived with a sharp reprimand from the school's director reminding us that things like swine flu were, you know, kind of all or nothing.
The next day we were sent another email from the director with a second case (also a 3 year-old class) in which a sibling tested positive, and the mother said it was "mild," Suspiciously, we weren't told if that particular child had been in school all week. Two days ago, we received yet another email about a mild case of swine flu, this time in a 4 year-old class.
Finally, I was out in the yard yesterday when a neighbor told me that the 15 year-old across the street was holed up with swine flu. Suddenly, I wondered if she had given Annie a high five this week. Or if she was on the bus with the other neighbors who love to visit Annie and Tilda after school. Or if her family's dog sniffed my family's dog's butt and...you know the rest. When Annie went to bed, I was convinced she felt warm. Is it possible to give someone psychosomatic swine flu?
Now I'm that parent who is convinced his house doomed. I see swine flu around every corner and I'm seriously considering getting vaccinated. I know this isn't Captain Trips, but it suddenly seems serious. What do you think, is this just a shift in my mental state or is it time to run out and get the family their swine flu vaccine?
This guy is killing me. The below link is just a snippet of how an at home dad's complicated life grows more so by the day.Since she is “handling certain areas of the relationship” like making most of the money, he said, “you’ve got to handle your business.” By “business,” Hayes means sex. “You’ve got to be creative. You’ve got to be good!"
Annie's first dentist appointment is today. I'm not convinced it's time and I'm not convinced she will keep it cool. Many years ago, my wife was asked never to return to her family dentist due to her constant meltdowns. And Annie and my wife are more similar than I thought possible given their 27 years of separation.